How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize