I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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