I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
