In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
