she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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