Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
