ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
