Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
