I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
