You can't special order awesome
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
