we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Too much gin, very little bucket
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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