all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
As shirtless as possible
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
