I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i would punch a child for taco bell
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
