You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
