i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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