Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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