yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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