1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
