I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
