I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
