Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
