Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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