im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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