Nicole vs. Life
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
