I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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