im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
