Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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