I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
