i just google imaged poop.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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