So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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