He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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