Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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