how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
