So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
