...so i touched it.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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