I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
