what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
