I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
