Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
they need to just BURY HIM!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
