We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We had to coat check the pizza.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize