Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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