Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
