I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize