i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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