i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
