if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
