garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
