We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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