Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am one with the molecules
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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