There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
His nipple licking is glorious
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