u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
