omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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