The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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