That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
