Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
