just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
