I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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