my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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