Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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