This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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