yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
